Reading the Lines: Louiza

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day17

March 5, 2014

‘The Semi-Fictional Character of the Day’ is a joint, one-month project by Louiza Mallouri and Constantinos Xenofontos. Constantinos will be sketching a semi-fictional figure every day, and Louiza will be writing an accompanying storyline, as inspired by that character. The aim of this project is to explore the way two semiotic systems, the visual and the linguistic, interact and complement each other to tell a story.

Haven’t you heard? Pushing your lips together, sort of like puckering and pouting at the same time when having your picture taken is all the rage. #duckface #howdoilook #layersofstickylipgloss #bodysideways #sparklylashes #blankgaze #amitryingtoohard #nofilter

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day16

March 4, 2014

That was one of my first deliveries. I made sure I got the address right and knocked on the door. I waited for a while and a man eventually answered: blank stare, mouth half open and arms crossed. ‘Hey, your delivery is here. That would be 16.99.’ He just stood there expressionless. ‘Erm….For the pizza you ordered?’ Silence for a few minutes. Then suddenly, as if he had just seen me, he acknowledged my presence, ‘Hey, dude what’s up? Let me get that for you. Come in.’ It was freezing outside so I followed him in. As soon as I stepped in, I was overpowered by the smell: that dude was high, so was everyone in the room. A couple of people were half sleeping, some were staring at the TV, bongs everywhere. He zoned out again, so I had to remind him, ‘The pizza? 16.99.’ ‘Ah, yeah dude…’ He took the money out of the wallet of a person who was lying flat on the floor. ‘Thanks, man!’ I grabbed the money and left as fast as I could, but it was too late. Later that night, at home, my girlfriend started to freak out, ‘What’s that smell? Did you..’

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day15

March 3, 2014

I am working night shift. A party of 4 has a reservation on my section. They are seated by the hostess and I wait by to get their order.
-Good evening guys. How are you today?
-Can I get a steak with green vegetables and mushed peas?
-Certainly.
-And can I get the same but with asparagus and green salad?
-Of course.
-I will have the pepperoni pizza.
-Is that the 8 or the 11 inches one?
-What’s bigger.
-Why can’t I find the curry chicken option?
-Oh that’s because it’s on the lunch menu.
-Well, can’t you do it now?
-I am afraid not, madame, but why don’t you try the spice chicken, that’s a similar option I think you will enjoy!
-Can you ask the chef whether he can make the curry chicken now?
-I can definitely ask that for you. Any drinks?
-A bottle of water.
-Thank you, I will be with you in a few moments.
Curry chicken is not an option tonight, so the lady half-heartedly settles for the spice chicken.
By the time I put the order in, they cancel the pepperoni pizza, they want to share the steak and asparagus should be replaced with broccoli. I bring the food out and check back after a while and they all seem to be enjoying the dishes.Towards the end of the evening I carry a slice of cheesecake to the table and sing, as instructed, happy birthday. They all join in. One of these days I will set this restaurant on fire.

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day14

March 2, 2014

The highly esteemed prize. The picture within the picture. It was around the time I was appointed as a junior lecturer to the University that she had received this international distinction. I was the youngest member in the department. She was my director and also my bully. At the playground I didn’t have to deal with any, but I had to in academia… She tortured and burdened me with trivialities, constant nit-picking and aggressive, demeaning comments. Thing is that I looked up to her so I thought, ‘Maybe if I work harder,’ ‘Maybe if I do it this way.’ Unrealistic and poisonous. And then, there were the rumours she spread about me. I looked into how I could make a difference but I realised that people who attempted to were rewarded with more abuse. I was trapped: my supervisees, my research funding, my collaborations. I was a grown up. What do grown ups do when they are bullied?

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day13

March 1, 2014

The glam squad is almost done: feathered gown and high heels on, make-up and fake lashes in place. Time for wig and jewellery. He opted for a black, shoulder length type of wig today. ‘So femme fatale, no?’ Everyone agreed. A tantrum on the opening night should be avoided at all costs. ‘And no jewellery. Just one black glove on my right arm.’ They happily obliged. He took a look in the mirror and exclaimed, ‘It’s show time!’

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day12

February 28, 2014

Dear friend, This ovesized, woolly jumper is an excellent choice. Your mum might hate it, but you will have it for a very long time. It is a little worn here and there, but don’t throw it away. Let it travel with you as you change rooms, apartments, cities, countries. Whenever you feel that you don’t have the strength to face another day, whenever you are overworked and sleep-deprived, wear this jumper and it will offer you comfort, reassurance and get you through the day. Yours truly.

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day11

February 27, 2014

‘Could you be a volunteer with Double Double?’ the leaflet read. She hesitated at first, but she finally contacted the organisation’s manager and before she knew it, she was helping older people in her area who needed support. She was a sought after stylist, so in between fittings, sample sales and shopping for her rich, busy clients, she would drop by for a coffee, check that someone is alright or help with a trip to the shops. She made friends; real, unpretentious ones. Like the one she had stopped in the street, back in December, in freezing cold, asking if she could borrow his cashmere overcoat for her shoot.That’s when it all started.

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day10

February 26, 2014

The talk is amazing. She is always amazing: in every book, every publication, every interview… In a league of her own. The auditorium is crammed, people sit on folding chairs, others stand in the back row and I sit on the steps to get a chance to see her. I can’t help but laugh at myself: a young scientist, crazily infatuated with this leader in the field and who is, by the way, married. Happily, I hear. Questions time! 15 minutes. As she nails every question, I try hard to think of something to ask, just to get her to look at me for a few seconds.’And our last question?’ the facilitator asks. Still can’t think of anything, but I somehow raised my hand. All eyes on me, but all I want to know is how she has her coffee, and where she wants to travel next and what books are on her nightstand. ‘May we have the question, please?’ the facilitator asks. I stammer, ‘That was a great talk. Thank you.’

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day9

February 25, 2014

My mama was a storyteller. I grew up surrounded by stories but I never listened to any of them. Years went by and I was still not paying attention, still rolling my eyes, as if I had heard it all before. And before I knew it, I was 17. Broken, bruised, scarred. Mama didn’t judge, didn’t ask, didn’t punish. But she gave me a story. That’s when I started listening.

Semi-Fictional Character of the Day #day8

February 24, 2014

‘So you wanna race me? You don’t stand a chance.’ That was true. He was three times my age, but he could outrun, outwork, out-anything me. That’s my boss. A ball of energy. We first met when I was still a barista at the local café, where he’d come to pick up his morning latte. At first, I felt that he was an annoying, talkative buffoon. Plus, I could not stand his cheeky face. Day after day though, I got somehow absorbed into his creative vision, I admired the way he was passionate about life and wanted to make the world a better place. So one day, when he came in, I told him, ‘That’s my last day here. Tomorrow I start working for you. What time do you need me?’

It’s never too late to have you life changed by a children’s book.

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