The title is from Jeanette Winterson’s beautiful memoir ‘Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal?’ which I consider the best book I have read in 2013. Jeanette Winterson beautifully explores her difficult childhood, the relationship with her abusive mother and her journey into adulthood. I will certainly return to discuss this book again, because it is so rich and powerful, but for this week I wanted to share some thoughts on love, as inspired by the insights offered in this important book.
A number of studies attests to this: love can be like a drug. Do you remember experiencing this? Intense, passionate, vibrant love. The one you get as a teenager, as a young adult, when your body is programmed to feel everything in its utmost degree. The one that fills you up and dries you out. The colourful love: walks in the rain, drinking bad coffee, capturing the moments in film, slow kissing under the moonlight, promises under influence, swimming in deserted waters, driving into the unknown, stopping for a distressed hedgehog on a busy high way.
The perfect love: the future seems big and bright, nothing is out of reach and that’s your only friend. You stayed up together doing absolutely nothing and you could have sworn that this was the most exciting thing you have done in a long time. Truth is that you were already full, but you just had that extra slice of cake just to spend a few more moments together. And, by the way, do you know how long a day is? It is excruciatingly long. And you only know that because, when you had quarreled with your friend, you could not talk to them for a whole day. Do you remember how long that felt?
Illustration by Louiza Kaimaki for the book I Aria Allazei Kosmous
The urgent love: the love that can’t wait. Because you didn’t know you could love someone this much, and you worry that you might stop wanting them that much, and you fear that you might not always wait for them with such eager, childlike anticipation. And when you kiss at a rock concert, don’t even blink, because when you open our eyes, you might stop being a kid.
The impossible love: fighting, resisting, disappearing.
The persistent love: love notes forgotten in books, a pair of vintage earrings, dried out flowers, daily bittersweet reminders.
Love & loss.
My fairytales were full of ‘happily ever afters’ and never said anything about the moment you grow out of love. Where do you go then?
Falling out of love is the greatest defeat.
Illustration by Louiza Kaimaki for the book I Aria Allazei Kosmous
Have you read any books on love in the past or recently that have resonated with you? What insights have they offered you? Give your reading suggestions and share your words of wisdom below!
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